Saturday, January 14, 2006

Win?...why, just being nominated is an honor!

So, I'm shallow.

If you've read the tag-line under my heading "Cruisin-mom" and the "about me", that shouldn't surprise you.

And part of being shallow means loving award shows. Tis the season. Award shows abound. Even though the amount of award shows has seemingly gotten out of hand, there are still a few that catch my attention and loyalty.

(Hey, do you think it's a coincidence that the J-Blog awards are going on right now, too?)

Starting this Monday with the Golden Globes, I will be glued to my t.v. to watch the awards.
Do I really care who wins? Heck no. Do I really care what the stars are wearing? You bet!

Let's face it...the stars deserve our respect and admiration...afterall, weeks, if not months, are spent preparing bodies, hair, clothing, and jewelry for this very occasion.

Think of all the gainful employment that ensues during the award frenzie.

Exercise trainers are hired to quickly pull bodies into shape.

Beverly Hills plastic surgeons can be found on the front lines, botoxing, enhancing, nipping, and tucking.

Top chefs are tirelessly cooking low-carb, high protein, low-fat, no-taste meals to be delivered throughout the fair city of Hollywood.

Stylists are frantically scouring the city to find dresses and tux's to make their star the most memorable on the red carpet.

Hairdressers and make-up artists will spend hours preparing natural looking faces and hairdos that resemble the "windblown look". Do you think it's easy to replicate the "I just rolled out of bed" hairdo so popular among the women stars? No, I don't think it is.

Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo shoes will be crippling (oops, I mean) "dolling up" the likes of Teri Hatcher and Reese Witherspoon.

I am so thankful that the stars are appreciated and recognized in a manner they so deserve. They will receive gift baskets worth something like $100,000. Afterall, some of the stars might not ever get a chance to experience teeth whitening, vacations, ipods, and the diamond jewelry bestowed upon the presenters in their baskets.

Thank goodness for Joan and Melissa, who so faithfully kick-off the red carpet festivities. Although, I guess the now svelte Star Jones has replaced them at the head of the red carpet catwalk. Afterall, who better to kiss the tight and fit asses of the stars than those three highly qualified journalists? I, for one, can't think of another to fit that bill.

Let's face it, how on earth would we know which t.v. shows and movies to spend our time watching if it weren't for award shows? When you lead a full life of watching t.v. and eating icecream... you really do need a guide on how to spend that time wisely. So I'm thankful these award shows exist to show me the way.

I can hardly wait for the Oscars...I love John Stewart, and I'm truly hoping he can pull off the hosting gig in a big way.

If he messes up, well, who cares... afterall, the only thing that really matters is what the stars will be wearing.


torontopearl said...

I love this post.
I, too, like the Golden Globes, the People's Choice Awards, the Oscars, the Grammys and the American Music Awards. I actually used to watch these shows religiously, sitting up till after the last credit rolled, whether that last credit rolled 1 hour or 2 hours past the expected time.
I used to watch them; I rarely do anymore. I don't get out too much to the movies and my music knowledge is no longer so topical, so I'm left in the dark as to who the majority of nominees are in any given category. So it doesn't pay for me to watch. I just consult with People magazine or Entertainment Weekly to grab the highlights of these shows.
I recall once watching the Golden Globes and watching the lengthy acceptance speeches and the overtime the show went into. Then I began to think "What are these actors really thinking about?" And I wrote some comedy material about that -- there can be a LOT of comedy material extracted from watching these shows. Think of that when you watch on Monday night. Just think how badly Charlize Theron might need to get up to go to the bathroom, but there's no seat filler available at the moment AND she doesn't want to miss any close-up camera opportunity...
(thanks for letting me be your blog hog!)

cruisin-mom said...

Pearl: "hog" away!