Thursday, January 19, 2006

A Royal Flush


When I was 8 years old, my dad took my brother, my cousin and myself on a shopping expedition to Sears.

Boy, what fun we had...exploring the various departments, through the tools, men's underwear, kid's shoes...you name it, we shopped it.

Toward the end of our trip, we ended up in the bathroom appliance section, to contemplate all of the beautiful porcelin accessories...tubs, sinks, and oh yes, toilets.

Now, for those of you have an 8 year old girl, or have been an 8 year old girl...you know that 8 year old girls have to go to the bathroom...OFTEN.

I'm not really sure why this occurs. (Any doctor who has the answer, feel free to chime in). Perhaps the size of the eight year old female bladder has not fully developed (although, any of you who are women, know this is a situation that does not improve with time...we just learn to cope with our lot, by convincing a friend to come along whenever we have to go).

So, I guess what I'm saying is, when a girl's gotta go, a girl's gotta go (Right girls?....RIGHT). Well, naturally, I had to go.

Being the resourceful child that I was...I looked around and figured, hey...what could be better than having 10 brand new toilets to choose from.

And choose I did.

I walked right over to one of those beautiful porcelin toilets, and proceeded to pull my pants down.

Thank goodness my father decided to turn around at that very moment...swoop me up...and save me from what could have been a humiliating exhibition.

For years I have searched my psyche to understand what would make a seemingly shy and proper 8 year old girl, think that tinkling in clear view of Sears customers would be the right thing to do. I have examined and reviewed this scene over and over in my head, but quite frankly, to no avail.

So I try to accept and move on.

As it is... to this day...I start to twitch, and get a funny urge to strip and pee, whenever I walk through a Sears dept. store...but something inside me always screams... "NO", "don't do it...grab a friend and run to the nearest bathroom".

10 comments:

torontopearl said...

HILARIOUS!!!
I'm peeing in my pants just reading this... (gotta get me to the nearest SEARS)

Sweettooth120 said...

So Randi, you were the passive agressive sort huh?

Now I did something similar, but I was much younger, like 3. We had a number of show poodles that my parents bred. I remember one time, right after my father just mopped the floors, I decided that I would rather squat on the floor than going into the bathroom. When my parents discovered the mess and confronted me, I did what most 3 year olds would do. I lied and blamed it on the dogs. Of course I didn't get away with it, but I don't think I ever did it again.

Sweettooth120 said...

Btw, that is really funny. Thanks for the smile.

Stacey said...

Wow, what a story! I have fond memories of going to Sears with my Dad. He would hang out in the tool dept. and my sister and I would love to sit on the tractors. I don't even think they have those tractors in the stores anymore. :(

And Sweettooth, that is pretty good to blame it on the dog!! LOL

cruisin-mom said...

T.P.: calm down, girl!

S.T.: at least you were only 3...what was my excuse?! (by the way, why do you think I have a dog...gotta have someone to blame!)

Stacey: Don't know if they ever had those tractors in Los Angeles!

Sweettooth120 said...

: )

Jack's Shack said...

Pretty funny.

Rebecca said...

maybe it's because they look so new. So nice and clean. No matter how good of a cleaner you are, you'll never get em that clean! I wouldn't mind peeing on a toilet like that!

cruisin-mom said...

Rebecca: true, what's not to love about a nice new clean toilet!

Regina Clare Jane said...

Now that was funny! I always knew Sears was good for a laugh!