Wednesday, August 27, 2008

It's a mystery to me

post inspired by Wendy...

Remember the games you played when you were little?

I do.

Mouse Trap.
Candy land.

But of all the games I played...MYSTERY DATE was the best.

Now, since I seem to be the oldest person who reads my blog, I'm probably the only one who remembers this game. So, most likely I'll be talking to myself here...but what else is new?!

Mystery Date was the answer to every little girl's dream. Since you couldn't date for real at the age of 10 or 11, the next best thing was pretending to date on a board game. Yikes, that's pathetic.

But then again, there are some advantages to dating someone in a board game. They don't talk back. They can't cheat on you. You can tell them how to dress. They aren't (eh hem) flatulenty expressive. They don't try and hog the remote. They don't leave their clothes on the floor, or the cap off the toothpaste.

Now of course, I was lucky enough to find Mr. Cruisin...a man who is none of those things I just mentioned.

He never talks back can't get a word in edge-wise.
He wouldn't cheat because he knows I wouldn't hesitate to then kill him.
This man dresses like he's just stepped out of the pages of "Car Mechanics Weekly", so no need to tell him how to dress.
Of course he never has any of those nasty bodily functions.
He knows better than to try and pry the remote from my "never cold because I'm always flashing, not so dead" hands.
His clothes neatly make their way to the laundry basket each and every night.
And that toothpaste cap? Well, his breath is made of roses, so no need to even brush.

Thank goodness for Mystery obviously taught me just how to find my dream man.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008



That's the sound you could hear my last post make.


That's where my last post fell.


That's the color I turned when only 2 people responded.

What the hell? WTF?

Am I (and the 2 people who commented) the only one who had an opinion about John Edwards?

As I wrote that last post, I thought:

"Oh yeah, Cruisin-mom, you are brilliant. EVERYONE'S gonna want to comment on this one. This one will kick everyone in the gut, and bring commenters out of the woodwork".

So where are you people? No opinion? Is this subject just a hot potato?


Friday, August 08, 2008

I'm a narcissistic scum bag (or is it scumbag)

I rarely use my blog to talk about people in the news, but this story has me hopping mad, yep that's right, I've spent the last hour hopping around my house. Well, not really, but boy, am I pissed.

And why I'm surprised, even I don't know.

John Edwards is an effing scum bag. The lowest of the low.

His wife is diagnosed with cancer, undergoing chemo, devotes herself to his career and his little children are dragged around the country. He repeatedly lies to media and everyone around him...

But sure enough, he CHEATED on his wife.

Oh big many others have done the same. FDR, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Clinton.

But this one seems particularly repulsive.

C'mon John...your wife is dying of cancer. She has suffered the death of her son. She has devoted herself to you and your career.

C'mon, I mean, really? Seriously?

All I can say is blech, argh, yuck.