Friday, March 03, 2006
WARNING: THE INTERNET IS DANGEROUS
Yes, that really is me...sitting at the computer.
Recently, the news has been full of reports concerning our children and their internet habits regarding MYSPACE, chatrooms, livejournal, and the internet in general.
Millions of teenagers have signed up with myspace, where they reveal personal information and pictures for anyone on the internet to view.
There have been several cases where teenage girls have run off from home to hook-up with sleazy old men, when lured through conversations in chat rooms, myspace or livejournal.
We parents are told over and over again to talk with our children about where they go on the internet and who they are communicating with. We are told to monitor their every move, so they do not run off to meet with strangers.
Next week, I will be meeting a few L.A. bloggers for dinner. They shall remain nameless to protect anonymity (they know who they are and are welcome to say so in the comments).
Also, just a few weeks ago, I met Robert for fun and thrills at the shooting range.
So here I am wondering...what the heck do you tell your kids, when you are doing the very thing you are supposed to be warning them NOT TO DO?
Kid: "Where are you going mom?"
Me: "Oh, off to the shooting range, dear."
Kid: "Really, mom?...but you don't believe in shooting guns."
Me: "Well, that's true, dear, but mommy's getting old and needs to try new things."
Kid: "That's cool mom, I get it. So, who are you going shooting with...Dad?"
Me: "Uh, well, umm, uh, no...I'm going with my friend Robert."
Me: "Oh, he's my friend I met on the internet"
Kid: "WHAAAAAAT!!!...You're going to meet someone, all alone, that you met on the INTERNET?"
Me: "Why yes dear, but don't worry, it's safe. He's Jewish. He's a Hollywood screenwriter. He likes babka."
Kid: "EXCUUUUUSE ME?...have you lost your mind?"
Me: "Why no, dear. Your father knows all about it. And completely approves. It is absolutely safe. Believe me, the only thing this guy is interested in is getting me to be a gun-toting, Bush-loving Republican.
He's not interested in mommy's good looks and cooking skills like your father is.
Really... it's completely safe for mommy to go shooting guns, in a terrifying part of Los Angeles, with a complete stranger I met on the internet less than a year ago, dear."
Me: "Oh, and did I tell you that I'll be going to meet a whole group of people I met while surfing the internet for blogs to read?"
Kid: "And I suppose they're all Jewish too, and only want to meet you because you are such an amazingly talented and witty blog writer, who just happens to look superb for 5o.
Me: "Why yes dear, how did you know? Now you're getting the hang of it."
Kid: "That's great, mom...so you won't mind when I go to meet that group of bloggers called 'girls gone wild', right?"
Me: "WHAAAAAAAAAT...have you lost your mind?!!!!!!!!!!"
the preceding dialogue is completely fictional. (DUH) I have promised my offspring that I will not write about them.