Be seein' you at the movies

Geeeeeez... can somebody please tell me when going to the movies became a pain in the neck?

The other night, after my husband and I sat down in our seats...two women sat down next to us...okay, fine...no big deal.

The lights go down and they both decide it's time to eat...off they go. Now, it doesn't really matter that we have to shift the general direction of our legs and coats, and miss half of what's on the screen, because the next 15 minutes were to be spent watching COMMERCIALS. (Isn't that why we go to movies...to get away from t.v. and the bombardment of advertising?).

The commercials end, and the previews begin...okay, not so bad...in fact, previews are actually fun. But the two women come back. We untangle and shift again, as they slide past us, only this time they are armed (and dangerous, I might add).

The smell of hot dogs and onions go wafting by us...I'm about ready to "blow chunks" as we used to say in college.

The hot dogs are rapidly eaten, and all is right with the world again, right? WRONG!

The woman next to me has her entire internet with her. Not just a cell phone, not just a camera cell phone...she has the the world wide web at her fingertips. The light of her blackberry is blaring, as she frantically pushes buttons.

Behind me, someone is practicing their daily kickboxing routine on the back of my chair.

Two rows over, a baby is crying.

A few seats away, a man snorts every time he laughs. And he laughs everytime his wife tells him what's happening next...Thanks, lady...I didn't really want to watch the movie and discover the plot on my own.

Suddenly all seems to settle down. The baby stops crying, the man is no longer snorting, just an occasional throat-clearing. The kickboxer seems to have knocked himself out, and all problems have been solved on the world wide web. It's quiet!

Or so I think...the lady in front of me decides it's time to pull out the candy...candy wrapped to achieve freshness until the year 2010. The sound is deafening as she begins to unravel layer upon layer of cellophane wrapping. Only saving grace...it's CHOCOLATE! (and smells good, no more feelings of chunk blowing at least)

I used to love going to the movies. In fact for years, we went almost every Saturday night. It was our escape for a couple of hours from the grind of the week.

It seems that really great movies are few and far between though. DVD's have become preferrable in many ways...watching a so-so movie at home doesn't seem to be as much of a loss as watching a so-so movie on the big screen.

But there is still something about the magic of the big screen. Some movies, and certain scenes in particular, are just meant to be viewed that way.

So, if someone can please tell me where the theatre is that doesn't allow cell phones, blackberries, crying babies, kickboxers, plot spoilers, and snorters...I'll be there.

Okay, I'm done ranting.

Thank you.