Thursday, July 13, 2006

Did someone say: "Nobel Peace Prize"?

( inspired by a comment left by Sweettooth in my purple post)

Let's face it...as awards go, the Nobel Peace Prize is certainly prestigious.

I mean, really, if you're going to win something, why not go for the big cheese, the head honcho, the top banana. Do I have any idea how to win the damn thing? Of course not (ooops, I hope I didn't say that out loud).

The other day, I began to think about awards I've won in my lifetime. I didn't play sports while growing up, so certainly no plaques or trophies for me. I have earned degrees. I've received letters congratulating me. But quite sadly, I couldn't think of one award I had received in all 50 years of my life.

Now before you pull out the violin and kleenex, let me tell you about my epiphany.

I was strolling through my family room, head hanging low I might add, realizing that I had not achieved what most people do at some point in their lifetime...an award...for something, anything.

When suddenly, I was struck by a vision. Hiding behind a stack of video tapes and dvd's was It!

My one and only award. Having put in on display 13 years ago, the years had gobbled it up with video tape and other various chachke's, leaving me to forget about it.

But there it stood, proud and erect; shiny, like the day I received it.

When my children were very young, I had been coerced into joining a "mom's" bowling league.

Of course, we never rolled on Shabbos (if you know the origin of that statement, I'll send you a bag of jelly belly's).

Every Friday morning, I 'd rush to Starbuck's for my caffeine fix, shine my ball, dust off my shoes...and bowl the hell against other mom's like myself.

We would bowl and bitch for two hours straight.

No kids (they were stuck in school), no husbands (just us girls), no obligations.

Admitting you bowl, is kind of like admitting you like Barry Manilow (which by the way, I do). It's one of those things when I was single, I never would have admitted on a first date...if I intended to have a second one, that is.

By that point, my husband had seen me give birth to two kids...I don't think joining a bowling league was going to faze him much. (Barry Manilow, maybe).

Each team was comprised of three women. We paid a fee, pooled money, and winnings were distributed at the end of the term.

Well, wouldn't you know, my team was amazing!!! We bowled our butts off. We went around kicking bowling ass. We were hot, bitchen...the "Belle's of the Bowl". Our team was appropriately named "the Ballbusters".

The season ended a few weeks before school let out...bringing to a halt a sense of weekly independence, power, and prowess. Each year, it felt a little sad to know, that our little corner of the world had to come to an end.

For eight months, we felt athletic (bowling actually uses muscles and burns calories...don't kid yourself), had a place to commiserate about child rearing, relationships, the latest neighborhood scuttlebutt, and where the next In and Out was opening.

I guess you could say, bowling was bonding. Who knew?

The season ended with a luncheon banquet and the passing out of awards for best bowling team, and of course, the monetary earnings.

We "Ballbusters" sat patiently as the awards were given out. First place, not us...but that was okay...second and third were within our grasp.

Second and third place were called...no Ballbusters.

We were devasted. How could it be? We had bowled our butts off (no easy feat for two Jews and an Irish woman).

We sat... our hearts pounding, our palms sweating...while there seemed to be one more award to be given.

"...and now for the worst team of the season...the award goes to...

"THE BALLBUSTERS!!!"

Cheers and applause consumed the room. I had done a spit-take with my diet coke.

What a moment. I had won an award. I could return home to my family that day, knowing that their mom was finally someone to be proud of.

The above picture is my award, my trophy, my Nobel Peace Prize...

...a woman bowler sitting atop a roll of toilet paper.

What I learned that day is this:

Bowling is all about getting the s#*t beat out of you by the other teams...

Apparently... we did just that.

24 comments:

JMK2006 said...

Bowling is fun. All ages and all skill levels can enjoy the game. And it's more exciting than world cup soccer.

torontopearl said...

I didn't even bother finishing reading this - "rolled on Shabbos" stopped me in my tracks. If I'm not mistaken, John Goodman said that in THE BIG LEBOWSKI.

Can you Fed-Ex those Jelly Bellies overnight, please. I'll take the small variety box to go.

torontopearl said...

Went back to finish reading the post: EXCELLENT! You managed to get me to laugh out loud at 12:42 a.m. Toronto time.

kasamba said...

LOL!!!!
That was too fab!
I WANT TO GO BOWLING WITH YOU and bond!!!!!

It's funny too, cuz I always considered myself to be a ballbuster!

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Love bowling, never got many awards. Don't think I ever got trophies. Very funny!

cheated are the clouds said...

thanks for sharing your shining moment, I stumbled onto your blog and read it an laughed my butt off, thats to funny, thanks for letting me read your site

Sweettooth120 said...

Don't feel too bad, I don't think I ever won an award either, Girl Scout badges, yes, but no awards.

Oops, I take that back...I just remember - I did, I did.

When I was in college in Boston, I went to a piano bar on Halloween. It was a full house and everyone was dressed up. I didn't intend to do this, but it just seemed appropriate. As you know I am very creative (yea - right) and so I dressed up as a pregnant housewife. I put my hair in curlers, wore this god awful big moo moo thing, covered my face in foundation to make me look washout, wore some old lady slippers and grabbed a rolling pin and headed out to the hotel bar in Copley Square.

What song could be more fitting for a pregnant girl (besides Gooch's
Song from MAME or Barbara's pregnant bride in Funny Girl)? -
"I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No" from Oklahoma.

It was a hit and even though I didn't win 1st, 2nd or even 3rd place, they still gave me the best award ever - a solid chocolate piano - for being silly and just trying. : )

Sweettooth120 said...

***Sorry for hogging your blog***

PsychoToddler said...

Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism. At least it's an ethos.

cruisin-mom said...

jmk2006: I think you may have alot of people coming after you for saying that about soccer :)

T.P.: uh, I was, uh, kidding. Glad I could make you laugh though, even in Toronto time.

kasamba: come on over...we'll start a new team: The Ball-a-boostah's

SWFM: Bowling is fun, and jmk2006 is right, good for any age.

cheated are the clouds: WELCOME! I love the name of your blog. I stopped by because I had to know the origin of that name. You are quite a poet and artist. Please stop by again. Glad you enjoyed!

S.T.: you can hog my blog anytime! Of course there had to be a showtune involved! Great story...I'd take that chocolate piano over any stupid first place prize anyday (unless 1st prize was a bag of jelly bellies, or say, a million dollars)

P.T.: HUH?!!!

Baleboosteh said...

Great post as usual C-M!
Have you thought about bowling with the girls again?? Even if for old times sake?
I played many different sports when I was younger, I swam, played netball, tennis, golf, did gymnastics for a while and karate for 6 years, and even won a few trophys (which now sit in cardbord boxes anyway!)but...I am the worlds worst bowler!! No prizes for me, Thats for sure!

cheated are the clouds said...

The origin of that name comes from a poem I wrote after a very close call with death, "Cheated are the clouds which called my name" thanks for asking

Rafiki said...

It's a quote from the Big Lebowski.

Now I'm disappointed in you. Go rent that movie again.

cruisin-mom said...

Baleboostah: thanks! Nope, no more bowling...although, I would love to go just for an evening. I took Karate too for awhile...had my husband shaking in his boots.

Cheated are the clouds: I LOVE that!

MajorMoron: okay, thanks..now who's the moron? ME! But you've got to give an old lady a break...haven't seen the movie in a long time...but I never forgot the line about no rolling on shabbos. (I don't even have to rent it...we own it!!!)

the only way i know said...

Fabulousimo!!!
well, i nominate you the 'belle of the blog'.
That (as usual) was a great post!
I like both barry and bowling - and i'm sure glad you found that trophy! btw - at 50 - you still got as much of a chance to win something as the rest of us!
If you want to, there's no holding you back!

Wendy said...

I knew! The Big Lebowski... BUT, alas, I was slow to respond. Love this post. It's getting really big around here - kids are signing up for leagues again... When I was a kid, my mom "bowled" twice a week, but I always wondered if she really sat around with her friends instead!

PsychoToddler said...

I'm the major moron.

But you already knew that (signed in under my son's blogger account by mistake).

Head over heel said...

Love your story!!! I like bowling...question remains how much the ball likes me. But I think it's fun having a bunch of people bowling together on an cold evening in winter time.

Jack's Shack said...

Sorry, bowling is much cooler than listening to Barry Manilow.

Neil said...

Oh, we're definitely going bowling soon.

Sweettooth120 said...

I met to ask, was the trophy really atop a roll of toilet paper?

cruisin-mom said...

towik: thanks! glad there's someone out there who likes bowling and barry. Hmmm...a Barry Manilow Bowling themed bowling alley...I like it!

Wendy: I think bowling never really dies out. (Now you know what your mom was really doing while bowling)

P.T.: hmmm, I should have known that:)

hoh: believe me, even after bowling for about 7 years...I never got any better.

Jack: hey, back off Barry!

Neil: YES!...and then to IHOP

S.T.: what you see is what I got!

Chana said...

Hey! I got a bowling trophy when I was a kid too! Only it was because the other team didn't show up. I don't think I have it any more.

It was in a candlepin bowling league. Candlepin is a lot harder than tenpin as far as actually knocking pins down, but the balls are the size of bocce balls so it's easier for kids. (Yes, I was born in Worcester!)

cruisin-mom said...

Chana: thanks for the info, I've actually never heard of candlepin bowling before! (I'm glad you won a trophy, even if by default...you gotta take em any way you can get em!)