Saturday, July 08, 2006
The Color Purple
Purple combines the stability of blue and the energy of red. Purple is associated with royalty. It symbolizes power, nobility, luxury, and ambition. It conveys wealth and extravagance. Purple is associated with wisdom, dignity, independence, creativity, mystery, and magic.
And, it's my favorite color.
When I was 5 1/2 years old, we moved to a new home. My room was softly painted in lavendar and white. I'm not sure if I picked the color, or if my mom picked it for me.
I only know...I loved it.
If a room can make you feel a particular way, then my room knew just how to gently remind me that I was pretty, and delicate, and special.
The moment I entered, I felt transformed. Safe. Secure.
I cared for and nurtured my room like a best friend. I kept it clean and neat, and respected every inch of my special space.
Children can sense what is going on in a home, like radar. They can see movement, the blink of an eye, the tone of a voice...and know that something has changed.
My brother and I were not told of my father's illness, but as all children do, I imagine we could sense the turn our destiny would soon take.
I look back now and wonder if my drive to maintain an orderly room, was really my attempt to calm the chaos I could sense going on in our home.
Nonetheless, I would fondly remember that lavendar room for the rest of my life.
We moved when I was 12, leaving behind the room that had wrapped itself around me, caring for and soothing me through my life turning upside down.
I no longer had a lavendar room.
The years went by, living in various apartments, until I married Mr. Cruisin. We lived in the house he already owned.
It was the '80's...mauve (just a fancy way of saying muted pink) was the color of choice. My husband, being the good sport that he is, agreed to redo the master bedroom in mauve. Can you imagine? Prior to me showing up on the scene, it was he and his cat...living the "manly life".
A few years later, we would move to our home we live in now.
When it came time to decorate the master bedroom, color decisions had to be made. The '90's were quickly approaching and mauve was on it's way out. A new color for the bedroom was definitely in order.
In my quest to pick an appropriate color, I could feel a wave wash over me.
I could, once again, have a purple bedroom!
I brought this idea to my husband, who had just finished living with a mauve bedroom.
He agreed to the purple bedroom. It was as if this man could sense my need to have a room that would once again, wrap it's arms around me. Not many men would go along with a purple bedroom. But my husband did.
For the last 18 years, we have lived in a bedroom that is predominantly purple.
When I walk into my bedroom, I'm reminded of what it feels like to be pretty and delicate and special, even if it's momentarily.
I'm not quite so neat and clean anymore. I suppose I no longer have to hold so tightly to calm and order. Having children certainly changes all of that.
Creating order in my pretty lavendar room did not change the sorrow that was to follow.
But now, my purple room beckons the memories of a time when my world was safe...
in a room softly painted in lavendar and white.