Thursday, March 15, 2007

All by myself


Holy smokes...I looked at my site meter today and found that I have one, that's right I said ONE, reader a day.

How sad. But of course it's my own fault. I have fallen off the radar.

I no longer write consistently, nor do I read or comment consistently.

I don't want to go completely by the wayside, but unfortunately circumstances have changed, and I'm not able to tend to my blog as I once was.

Even I miss my writing, so I can only assume that my regular, loyal readers do too. So much, in fact, that you just can't even bear to bring yourselves over here to check me out.

That's what would account for my daily average readership of ONE person.

Oh, wait a minute...an average of one means that somedays there are NO readers.

PATHETIC!

I'm not even sure of what to write about. I remember loving to write about my past and intertwining it with my present. I seem to recall that many of you enjoyed those stories too.

So here is a quick one.

When my oldest son was 3, he had two goldfish he named Grape and Fruit (clever, huh?).

Well, Grape was a pleasantly plump guy, while Fruit had black spots on his lovely golden skin (do fish have skin?)

As luck would have it...one dark, grey, somber night...Grape bit the dust.

Being that our son was a sweet little 3 year old who had no experience with death, we had to decide how to properly deal with the situation.

What could we possibly tell our sweet little boy about the fish he had grown to love (after 3 weeks)? I mean, we wouldn't want to tell the truth...that the fish had died, and start explaining the meaning of life, and what happens when someone dies, and that mommy and daddy won't be dying anytime soon, etc. etc.

We did what any good parents would do...we panicked...and quickly drove to the local pet store to buy a new Grape. Unfortunately we could not find one quite as plump, but we knew a 3 year old wouldn't notice.

We snuck the new Grape into the bowl while our little boy slept soundly and unknowingly.

The next morning he woke up, and ran downstairs to see his precious goldfish, as he had done each morning those 3 weeks since he had acquired the fish.

He looked carefully, left and right, looked away, and back again. We held our breath hoping that he wouldn't notice that Grape was not quite the same.

After a few moments of sizing up the situation, my son turned to us and announced "Look mommy, Grape got skinny!".

Whew, it worked...we didn't have to deal with the dreaded subject of death.

Now for the part where I intertwine this story of the past with my present.

I would not have dealt with this the same way today. I would have used it as a wonderful opportunity to explain the cycle of life and death to my son. I would have used real language: death, dying...not "passed" or "gone to sleep". I would have allowed him to express what he loved about Grape, what he would miss about Grape, to say if he felt sad, or scared, or mad that Grape had died. We would have had a funeral service and burial for grape. I would have answered any questions he had about death. I would have told him that we would always hold what we remember about Grape in our hearts, and that we could talk about Grape anytime he wanted to.

Maybe more than one person will read this...maybe not.

I miss blogging. I miss talking to people all over the country and world for that matter.

I miss sharing stories that might touch someone's heart just a little.

I miss your comments, because it reminds me that people just want to connect and make contact and know we're not alone in our thoughts and feelings.

I hope you are all okay.

Thanks for reading.

23 comments:

torontopearl said...

...definitely missing you, your wit and your wonderful outlook on the world.

Thanks for making it worthwhile...at least today..for me to check out if there's anything new on your blog!

Robbie said...

When I was 4, we had two fish that we won in the shul's carnival.

My dad insisted on their names:

1 was named "Dead."

The other was named "Buried."

Irina Tsukerman said...

Yea! A new story! : ) I hope everything's ok!

Val said...

hmmm... i check pretty frequently... could I be the ONE????!! But no, 3 others beat me to the comment section. sigh. Glad you're back, kinda.

the only way i know said...

yep
that's the difference these days..
we're more open and supportive etc
it's the way of the world

(are you SURE it was only one person? lol - good to read something nice again.. hope you're well)

Claire said...

Aw, of course I missed you hon. The story of Grape and Fruit was cute-as.

Write soon!

Cxx

Jack's Shack said...

Nice to see you again. I'll keep checking to see if there is new material.

Ezzie said...

I'm with Pearl - we miss you, too. :)

In Israel, my friends had 3 goldfish. The first was named Ezzie Goldfish... and he actually lived about 6 months!

[You also probably have a lot of readers via RSS; maybe change the setting to 'short' instead of 'full' or 'long'...]

wanderer said...

We had a fish before we got our beagle, Bella. The fish's name was Gil.

Get it? Gil? Ha ha.

Our neighbors upstairs used to take care of him/her/it when we would go out of town. When we would come back they would always tell us how much they worried that Gil would die and they would have to find a replacement so we wouldn't notice. Maybe he died on one of our trips and we never knew..

Gil finally died a little while after we got Bella. We buried him/her/it in a matchbox in our backyard.

An hour later, Bella walked in with the matchbox in her mouth. She burped fish. Poor Gil!

Jewish Smörgåsbord said...

I have your blog on my RSS feed, so I see when you write a new post... I guess many readers have it like that, especially your loyal readers who already read all your other posts.....

We miss you, so come back, maybe you needed a winter-break :)

Elie said...

Sitemeter has been flakey lately - the 1 hit per day may not be correct. Anyway, welcome back!

My brother and I each had a goldfish as a kid, and his died one night. My parents told him they were taking it to the hospital and then bought him a new one. Not sure if he was fooled, or just played along.

Sweettooth120 said...

Sweetie, absence only makes the heart grow fonder.

marallyn ben moshe said...

glad to see you back...i too have been checking in to see if you are here...don't stay away so long...

Wendy said...

I miss your writing too! (though admittedly, I've been too busy to frequent my favorite blogs lately!) but I'm glad you're back!

We had a goldfish - my oldest son was just over 2 years old. One fall day, there was a fluke blizzard and our house caught fire when the trees collapsed on the electrical wires. We left safely, but we couldn't carry more than the 2 year old, the 4 month old and the 2 cats. The fish died in the cold, fire-wrecked house. When my son asked, I told him the firemen took the fish since we couldn't. I still feel guilty.

RaggedyMom said...

Come . . . back . . . to . . . us!

proudmommy0f4 said...

Heh, my little then 3 YO took one look at the new resident goldfish and asked, "We eat dem?"

And when the first one went belly up she asked, "*Now* we eat dem?"

No tender thoughts about goldfish here!

Stacey said...

Awww, I loved reading this. I am not around much anymore, but when I am -- your blog is one of the first I read.

Hope you are well.

cruisin-mom said...

Hi everyone...I'm hardly blogging anymore (that is a blogpost unto itself!), as you've all noticed, so I'm very touched that you have all commented.
It's funny how you can miss people you have never met :)

Another meshugannah mommy said...

I missed your blog, too! Glad to see you back. We had a goldfish, Nemo, tht my daughter won at a local fair. Nemo lived a long time. One day, I found him floating upside down. My son cried and cried, but got a good understanding of death. It helped him when his great-grandmother passed a few months ago. My daughter wanted to know when she could get another fish.

Keep bloggin', baby!

Stacey said...

Oooh. There's another Stacey here. How confusing.

Anyway, one of my sisters had two goldfish, Ping and Pong. When she was away at college my Mom forgot to feed them and the eight-year-old found them floating belly-up.

They got the regular fish flush funeral. The eight-year-old doesn't seem scarred for life.

Jack's Shack said...

Yoohoo.........

Neil said...

Just saying hi!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I was over at Toronto Pearl and saw your comment on her Blogger Thank You Post...and wondered what had made you go off the radar...So, I came on over to see...Well, I think I am "ONE" MORE...who enjoyed this post today....Sorry that things have changed so that you are unable to post very much or read....
I loved this story and the follow up on how you would handle it today....Are you sure you cannot write more often? I sure hope you can.